Are You Addicted to Hot Juicy Gossip?

Every time someone rings me and says those magic words “have you heard? bla bla bla”, I automatically get ready for a dose of gossip. Oh Gossip, why do we love you? Oh Gossip, why wont we cast you aside and replace you with more meaningful pursuits in life. Are you addicted to hot juicy gossip? Do you know what gossip does to your success in life?

Gossip is idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others.  Many people love gossip. I was brought up to believe that men do not gossip. That was until I hit the pub and really listened to people. After all the usual talk about economy, politics, business, sports etc, people just cannot help it but just gossip. There are different types of gossipers in my book; gossip peddlers and gossip consumers. But they are all addicted to the juice.

Gossip Friends

Do you have a friend who always seems to be in the know? Someone who always knows what others are doing, where, when, and with whom? It is good to have such a person around to keep you in the loop. But do you really need to be in the loop? Do you really need to know what is happening in the private lives of others? Gossip can be useful in some occasions, but I find that too much of it can lower potential for success.

The problem with surrounding yourself with “gossip friends” is that they rarely talk positive things about anything or anyone. They are always looking to tear others instead of building them up. Their main focus on life is negative thoughts, words and situations. They delight in misfortune and peddle the spirit of fear.

Gossip friends prevent us from reaching our true potential. Sometimes it may be obvious, but in most cases it is very subtle and it happens over a long period. If you continuously surround yourself with people who speak ill of others, and haters of progress, you will curtail your desire for success in order to conform and not be the victim of the gossip.

Types of Gossip

There are different types of gossip or shall we call them levels of gossip. Let us examine four of them.

1) Celebrity Gossip

People spend an incredible amount of time keeping up with celebrities. They want to be the first to know who will be attending the Grammy Awards or the Oscars. They want to know which celebrity is having an affair and with whom.

Major media outlets promote celebrity gossip to increase their readership. When people get addicted to celebrity gossip they just do not seem to want to stop. You will find magazines dissecting the happenings in Hollywood in excruciating details. I bet there are people who know more about Hollywood than their local area. The paparazzi are always on hand to get the latest photo scoop of the faltering celebrities. They hound actors, singers and anyone who fits the celebrity bill.

2) Workplace Gossip

Some may call it office politics. There is always a person in the office who is the “daily news agency“. This is the person who knows what everyone is doing, “thinking” or planning. Be careful with these kind of people, they may be talking about you behind your back just as easily as they talk about others to you.

3) Social Circle Gossip

People in the same social circle cannot help talking about each other. It starts at an early age where popular kids in school talk about the less popular kids. It may lead to peer pressure and character modification that may not be apparent for years. Social circle gossip can be gossip about people in a football team, people from the same church, mothers union, drinking buddies, at the local hair salon etc.

4) Family Gossip

Family members sometimes do not know they are gossiping. It may be a parent speaking to her son about the other children, thinking that they are talking about family matters while in reality these family matters may just be gossip. People who do not conform to the family line of thought or family way of life are most likely the victims of the gossip. Be careful about what you talk to your family members about the other family members. Family gossip is notorious for family breakups and bad blood between members of a family. It is best to discuss things in the open where appropriate instead of talking behind each others backs even when “trying to help”.

Functions of Gossip

If gossip did not serve a purpose then humanity would have thrown it to the dust bin perhaps.

1) Entertainment

Gossip is a form of entertainment “from the smallest village where my father was born, to the biggest cities in the world”. It is fun to lean about what is going on in other people’s lives. I have recently seen magazine headlines screaming “Inside the Obama Marriage”. That is just pure gossip, but entertaining nevertheless.

2) Killing Time

Gossip keeps people engrossed for hours on end. I find in Australia some people are able to talk for hours, mainly because the calls are untimed but also because the gossip just wont end. If you ever find yourself bored, find your favorite gossip peddler and the time will seem to fly.

3) Making Connections

Gossip can be a great way of making a connection with people. If you share some gossip with me, I will share some with you. Scratch my back and I will scratch yours. That seems to be the modus operandi for many relationships. I bet there are people who call each other friends and the only thing they have in common is gossip. In my opinion, you should seek to make connections with people on shared interests that go beyond gossip for you to build a good foundation for a relationship, friendship or partnership. Having said that, gossip is a practical way of people to get to know each other and eventually explore each other beyond the narrow confines of gossip.

4) Information Gathering/ Dissemination

Gossip has been used for generations as a way of gathering and dissemination of information. In Kenya where I come from gossip is a standard way of neigbors to know what is going on in their local community. Gossip is also used by shrewed politicians to advance their agenda. Starting a rumor could be used for character assasination or to advance certain objectives. Being in the gossip loop gives people an overview of what is going on in the lives of people close to them.

5) Social Accountability

Without gossip, many people would be doing things without regard knowing that it would never come to bite them. Knowing that somebody will “talk” makes people behave. Gossip, especially on the internet, helps consumer find out who is telling the truth and who is taking advantage of others. The fear of gossip helps keep people on the straight and narrow.

The Allure of Gossip

Gossip is very enticing. It is so easy to talk about other people instead of focusing on what ails us. It is easier to see the speck in someones eye than to see a log in our own. Gossiping about others helps in momentarily assuming we are perfect, creating a good feeling within. A feeling of superiority and moral supremacy. Gossip helps belittle others in the mistaken belief that doing so exalts us.

Gossip especially when shared with a friend seems to cement a friendship. Unfortunately, relationships and friendships based on nothing more than gossip do not go on for too long. They wither with each gossip gone wrong.

Gossip Channels

• TV - Television helps helps in the dissemination of gossip at monumental scales. All that is required is one television station to pick up a story. Within no time, other stations play catch up and start talking about the same gossip. There are stations that unashamedly make a living out of gossip. Entertainment Tonight is a good example of well loved television stations that propagate gossip worldwide.

• Radio – Talk back radio hosts and many radio anchors are spectacular gossiping machines. They will at times start a rumor and preach as if it were the gospel truth, and encourage listeners to call in with their views, further enhancing the juicy gossip.

• Internet – Online discussion forums and social networks such as Facebook and Myspace are fast becoming heavyweights in gossip. Wherever two or three people are gathered online without a specific mandate, there is bound to be some gossip. I could be wrong.

• SMS – It is so easy sending a text message enticing someone to be a gossip consumer. For example a message such as “Guess who I just saw with Alex?” could be the start of a series of text messages gossiping about a couple of friends.

• Magazines – Every time I am at the gas station or supermarket checkout, I always browse the magazines and I tell you some of those headlines really grab me. As an advertiser, I know the power of headlines and I tell you some of the gossip magazines are top notch in terms of attention grabbing techniques.

• Blogs – There are many blogs dedicated to nothing more than gossip. Amongst the most popular is PerezHilton.com . This is a blog by celebrity blogger Mario Armando Lavandeira.  He writes under the pseudonym Perez Hilton. On his website, Lavandeira posts gossip items about musicians, actors and celebrities. He often posts tabloid photographs over which he has added his own captions or “doodles.”

Gossip & Success

We have delved into great detail about gossip on today’s blog. But what has gossip really got to do with your success? You are the person most qualified to answer that question. All I can do is guide you by asking you five questions regarding gossip and success.

1) Where is Your Focus?

What you focus on determines your actions. Your actions determine your success. When you are busy talking about others or reading about celebrities, who have done this or that, are you aware that you may be losing focus from your mission in life or tasks at hand?

2) What is your Perspective?

Gossip generally involves looking at things from a “superior” perspective. If you keep gossiping about someone, you are telling yourself that you are better than that person perhaps. What if you tried putting yourself in the shoes of others? Would that make you gossip more or less?

When people gossip, they tend to look at issues from a negative perspective. The more you spend time on the negative end of life, the less success you get. Are you doing yourself justice by constantly focusing on the shortcomings, failings and mistakes of others?

3) How about time?

Is gossip the best use of your time? What if you used half of your current gossip time to more meaningful pursuits in life? What if you spent less time gossiping and working towards your goals? What impact would that have on your success?

4) Gossip a Priority?

What are your priorities in life? Does gossip and gossip friends tend to magnify small issues and make mountains out of them? Does gossip currently interfere with your priorities? Should you really be giving that much time and attention to gossip and gossip peddlers?

5) Can you be Conscious Gossip?

Gossip is not always bad. But could you at least try to put it on a leash. Could you control the amount of gossip that occupies your life? Could you control the kind of people you let into your life to peddle lies, untruths and negative comments about others? What effect would that have on your success? If you love gossip, could you just admit to yourself that you love gossip… could you celebrate the fact that a little gossip wont hurt you? Could you become more balanced in life instead of just tagging along? Could you take more control in regards to your actions, thoughts, words and destiny?

Summary

Gossip permeates through different aspects of life. People are fascinated by gossip, both men and women. People love gossip, be it celebrity gossip, social or office gossip. Gossip serves as a form of entertainment and is very enticing.

You should however ask yourself what kind of impact gossip has and control how much of it you let into your life. Avoid gossip if it seriously impacts on your success.

Gossip Assignment

Go gossip about DanielNgari.com with a friend! Please share this post with your gossip buddies. hehe

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