How to Bring Out the Best in People

by Daniel Ngari on February 13, 2009

People have a beautiful side and a not so beautiful side to them. That is why you can find someone so attractive one day and want to run away from them the next day. You can bring out the best in your partner, friend, business associate or even strangers by following the following tips.

1) Be genuinely interested in people: If someone senses that you are genuinely interested in them without any ulterior motives, they are more likely to show you their best side.

2) Expect the best from people: Whatever you expect from people becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. If you sincerely expect someone to treat you right, that is what you will get.

3) Understand people have different needs: Avoid stereotypes. People are unique and you should seek to understand them with all their uniqueness. Do not treat everyone as though they came from the same production line.

4) Do not criticize people: People do not like to be criticized. Parents should in particular avoid criticizing children every time they do not live up to their adult expectations. When you criticize people, they feel inadequate and become less free to be their true self around you. If someone makes a mistake, do not make them feel too bad about it. Have a soft landing, think of alternatives of achieving your objectives without making them look silly or evil.

5) Be a good listener: You have two ears and one mouth. It is not an accident. Use them in that ratio. Improve your listening skills. Learn to listen to people’s spoken words and body language.

7) Be generous: I find that every time I am generous to someone, their personality seems to change. Maybe I imagine it, but I swear people seem more beautiful just after generosity.

8 ) Be positive: Quit whining and crying over everything. Be full of positive energy and give hope instead of being a prophet of gloom.

9) Gain and maintain trust: Trust is built over time. People are at their best with people they can trust. They are more relaxed and confident with people they trust. Seek to gain the trust of people and guard it when you get it. Do not abuse a trust relationship.

10) Make people laugh: It takes more muscles to smile than to frown. Be a joyful soul and you will make people be at ease. If you have a good sense of humor, use it. Do not laugh at people, instead laugh with them.

11) Keep the focus on them: People are generally selfish. You and I included. They want to hear and talk about me, me and more me. I did this, I will do this, I this or I that are very common in conversations. Keep the focus on a person and they will let their beautiful side reign.

12) Accept people for who they are: Do not always try to change people to be the perfect version of them that you have in your mind. People love being accepted for who they are.

13) Be reliable: Reliability is what really sets aside a friend from a stranger. You can rely on a friend to be there for you in good and bad times. Do not treat people well only when it suits you. Be a reliable friend and they will be a reliable friend to you (in most cases).

14) Avoid mixed signals: Set boundaries and know thyself. If you keep changing the signals you give people they will give a less than stellar version of themselves. Be consistent in the kind of signals you give.

Summary

You can get to see the lovely side of people if you treat them well, listen to them, understand them and be generous. Avoid giving mixed signals to people, be reliable and never abuse trust. People love being accepted for who they are instead of being criticized and turned into something else just to suit you.

Happy Valentines:

Enjoy your 2009 Valentines. Hope you can use these tips to bring out the best in your Valentine, and other people in your life.

{ 14 comments }

onesmus makori February 28, 2009 at 1:51 am

Dan you are so inspiring.This my first time av come across your site and articles.Shall be interested in reading all of them and exercising the same.Actually the importance of going through these literature is receiving the words and letting others learn from the same.Wish you well and all the best.

louise nyaboke February 26, 2009 at 10:26 pm

dont go to bed angry because u will wake u p like so.Dan,i wanna be ua right hand gali want to uplift peoples inspire them by telling them the best time to do good is now tomorrow might be too late

Austine viera February 19, 2009 at 4:03 pm

auuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuui am inspired en now am going to put in practice wat ave just read powerful stuff.

Natty Dread February 18, 2009 at 4:31 pm

Dear Daniel,

This is your very first article that i have read and i must say you truly are amazing and Blessed by God who has given you the ability to write such inspirational pieces of work and most of all share these ideas with the rest of us! Keep it up. I am really enjoying the articles and learning alot too.

All the best.

andrson February 18, 2009 at 4:41 am

u r the man.
kim kplc msa

amelia mwendwa February 17, 2009 at 8:54 pm

daniel. that was a good piece. its true we are all generally self centred even when we think we aren’t. i ned to learn to be less critical especially of people i hire to take care of my daughter. a great lesson. thanks.

Paula May February 15, 2009 at 11:39 pm

Hey,

This is the other Paula as you called me leo,lol. I am loving your blogs,you are a good writer.Best believe i’ll be reading and learning

Paula February 15, 2009 at 9:42 pm

Hey,

This is the other Paula as you called me leo,lol. I am loving your blogs,you are a good writer.Best believe i’ll be reading and learning.

Georgia Atieno February 14, 2009 at 10:42 pm

People are complicated but I guess wiht the above tips i’ll be on the road to enjoying what everybody has to offer. Hey, just a suggestion_write a column on getting along well with your colleagues. I have a frined who’s frustrated at work because his position in the company requires that he implements some policies that don’t go well with his colleagues. They simply hate him. What do you think?

Job kungu February 14, 2009 at 8:35 pm

What a wonderful ad inspirational script.well researched ad written.. These are golden rules to be written in our heart so that we can always recite them in our soal.Thanks 4 the site.happy valentine.

june February 14, 2009 at 8:19 pm

Great stuff!will definately build me and benefit those around me.

Linet Kerubo February 14, 2009 at 5:22 pm

Am glad Dan I came across this site. it is so interesting. My husband will love it too. Thanks

Paula February 14, 2009 at 6:12 am

Hey people.. as we go through this I just want to say thank you for all the comments i read everyday…. You have all contributed to make me happy……. Happy valentines and please show someone true love..
Dan – Happy Valentines from Florida, USA

Angeey February 14, 2009 at 3:59 am

i hpe i bring out the best in myself…n that i avoid sending mixd signals…nyc one.

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