Meet Invisible People

Posted at February 18, 2009

People Series

Have you ever been discriminated against? I have. Have you ever been treated like you are not there? I have. Have you ever been made to feel insignificant? I have. Have you ever been made to feel like you were invisible? I have.

I know the feeling. I know how it feels to be treated like I was imperceptible to the naked eye. We all have people we do not notice. Not because we do not like them, not because we do not value them, but because they are not in our area of focus. It is a good idea to tune your mind to notice the previously invisible people.

Invisible Children

When two couple’s meet they may introduce themselves as: “This is my husband John or this is my wife Anne”. And the other couple may do the same. Meanwhile the kids in tow are looking up waiting for their turn to be introduced. They wait and wait until they hear the parents say “It was nice to meet you, let’s keep in touch. Bye for now”. Oops invisible children ignored.

Invisible Friends

I hope you have never been to a party where someone greets everyone else but you. I have seen beautiful girls walking with a less stunning girlfriend; the guys almost always ignore the less stunning friend. That friend may suddenly get impatient or want to go elsewhere. The other girls (and guys giving them attention) would then wonder … “why do you want to go” … we are having so much fun! What a shame.

Next time you are in a social gathering, please pay attention to the person that other people ignore. Chances are you will make their day if you say hello and show interest in them. Try and make someone feel special.

Invisible Workers

Many workers, especially those doing low level jobs are often ignored. Do you know the name of the security guy at your office? How about the cleaner? Do you ever smile or talk to people you consider below your rank at work?

When I first came to Australia, I had a part time job as a cleaner and supermarket trolley collector.  To have fun in the chilly winters, I would make bets with myself to try and guess whether or not the person getting off the car would notice me. It was shocking how many times I got it right. Almost in all cases people would walk past me like I was not there. I am actually surprised that nobody ever bumped into me.

If you have been blessed with a good position in life or are fairly fortunate, try and be empathetic to others around you, especially invisible workers. You might just make someone’s day. You never know whether you might one day need that person.

After the supermarket job my cleaning agency employer transferred me to a building right in the city of Perth, Western Australia. This building housed one of the biggest law firms in the city.

Many of the lawyers were busy people and they worked incredible number of hours. They were often still in the office at 9pm when I finished work. I would move from cubicle to cubicle with my vacuum cleaning machine and even with all that noise, the lawyers were always oblivious to my presence.

However there was one senior partner in the firm. He almost always motioned me to switch off the vacuum cleaner as soon as I got into his office. He would ask me about the courses I was taking at the university, and ask me questions about Kenya. He knew the Kenyan legal system and tried to school me in all matters law. He was also very interested in the nascent Kenyan Community in Western Australia and was keen on taking an African safari with his wife.

Then one day as I was going home, after emptying the bins at the basement, this senior partner came up to me and told me that he had lost a very important document that he had no copy of. He suspected correctly that he had put it in the bin. I looked at the big green bin with all the rubbish from all those lawyers and thought to myself, “you must be kidding!”

I remembered how this guy had made me feel important and appreciated as a person. Then I saw him roll up his sleeves and started helping me sift through the pile of mainly paper rubbish. We rummaged through the bin together until we found the document he wanted. He thanked me profusely and as I went home that day, I reflected on the action of that senior partner. I said a small prayer for him and wondered how comes others who were under him at the law firm were so snobbish. It was a good lesson for me in human relations and humility.

Below is a snippet from the Desiderata written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

Invisible Hussein in Kenya

Long before he became the most powerful man on earth, Barrack Hussein Obama had gone to Kenya, the land of his father and met up with his sister. At a leading Nairobi restaurant, the duo tried to get served but they were too invisible to the restaurant staff. He was shocked that his meal would be delayed while the other tourists got expedited service complete with smiles.

Years later, he was well received by jubilant crowds when he visited as a US senator. A local beer was even named after him. But even then, when he criticized how the country was being run, the Kenyan government spokesman dismissed him as “an ignorant junior senator from Illinois”. Of course when he won the presidency, that same government celebrated by calling a national holiday because invisible Hussein was now the light of the world. Talk of hypocrisy.

Genuine Love for People

To be successful and happy, you have to learn to love people. You need to be attuned to the emotional states of others. Whether they are going to help you or not. Whether they are ranked above you or way below. If you genuinely love people, you will make more friends and be able to influence people.

William James said “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated”. Think of creative ways of appreciating those around you.  You may not necessarily gain something by being nice to someone previously invisible to you, but if you do it often enough, you will become a better person and a blessing to others.

Try and notice a previously invisible person today. Expand your comfort zone. Make a new friend. You never know what that friendship might bring tomorrow.

Invisible Blogging

This blog is still new. It is still invisible to many people that could be inspired by it. I really appreciate people who have been posting comments. Thank you so much, you have given me the motivation to continue blogging. You are my true inspiration and I encourage you to keep posting your comments and sharing this blog with your friends on email, Facebook and any other places people meet online.

We may never meet in person but I hope the inspiration from this blog will be visible in your life.


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