Show Me Your Friends

Show me your friends and I will tell you what kind of person you are. The company you keep reflects on you. Birds of a feather flock together. People assume you are just like the people you hang out with. Have you ever done an audit of the kind of people you allow into your space?

Guilty By Association

If you hang out with thieves, do not be surprised if people start keeping a closer eye on their valuables when you are in the vicinity. If you hang out with thieves, do not be surprised if police knock on your door one day as “part of the investigation”.

You are judged by the company you keep. In the court of public opinion, you may be accused, tried and even condemned just by the kind of company you keep. Be conscious about the friends you have. Their moral aptitude is assumed to be similar to yours.

President Barack Obama found himself on a tight corner based on the company he had kept. He had to distance himself from a number of people to avoid being judged and condemned by association. He had to let go of his former church pastor Rev. Jeremiah Wright, and spent considerable resources clarifying his association with (and distancing himself from) Louis Farrakhan and Bill Ayers.

Just Let Go

If you are serious about your success, you may have to let go of some people from your life. Get rid of negative people from your life. Let them go. They will drag you down. Get rid of people who push you down. Do not spend time and energy trying to gain acceptance. You are good as you are. You do not need anyone’s permission to succeed. Be ruthless and get rid of people who waste your time and take your focus away from your goals. You will be happier in the long run if you do that.

Common Interests

The kind of activities you do will determine who ends up on your address book. If you are always at the pub, you will have more drinking buddies than industry friends. If you spend a lot of time in bible study groups you will have more religious types as friends.

Determine what kinds of activities are closely knit with your mission in life. Pursue those and you will get friends based on your common interests. If you want to run your own business and you spend most of your time at a “jobless corner’, or with people who work for “the man”, you will start thinking like them and your dream will remain just a dream. Go out there and meet people who share your vision and interests.

Comfort Zone Friends

When I first came to Australia in 1998, I made quite a few Kenyan friends here because we viewed life from a similar perspective. We spoke the same languages (English, Swahili and Sheng). It was comfortable having Kenyans as friends in a foreign country. But they are comfort zone friends. I do not have to put much effort or do anything extra to be friends with them. That feels good. Unfortunately, that comfort zone can limit the potential for success.

To succeed in business and life in general, I have had to reach out to other people, from diverse backgrounds. There are only about 3000 Kenyans in Perth, Western Australia, a city of 1,554,769 people. For that reason, I have had to make friends from beyond my comfort zone to be able to succeed.

Do you only hang out with only people you are comfortable with? Give yourself a challenge, try and make one new friend from beyond your comfort zone every week. Did you know that you could have a different outlook in life if you expanded your friendship circles?

Friendship Circles

I admire people who have a lot of friends. However, I personally only have friends that I can count with my fingers in one hand. These are people who are in my close friendship network and I will walk or run for miles for them. I will do a lot for them and they would do the same for me.

Beyond the close friends, I have friends that I group in “circles”. I have church friends, work friends, former schoolmates, internet friends and family friends. I find it really important to clarify what kind of person a certain friend is.  I have hundreds of acquaintances because of my social nature, but I always make sure I understand what “circle” each person is in, in my life. Each circle of friends has a certain influence in my life. You will find that to be true in your own life. Be careful about who you let into your friendship circles.

Success and Friends

Your friends will have a very important impact on your thought pattern, ambition and rate of progress. Associate with people who are positive and get rid of people who pull you down.

In your quest for success, you may from time to time have to make difficult decisions to stop associating with former friends. Do not hang out with people just to avoid them gossiping about you, talking behind your back, calling you a “snob”. Understand that to soar like an eagle you have to avoid the company of chicken.

_{»crosslinked«}

Did you enjoy this post? Why not leave a comment below and continue the conversation, or subscribe to my feed and get articles like this delivered automatically to your feed reader.