The Power of Commitment

Posted at February 4, 2009

Power Series

You can employ the power of commitment to get amazing results in your life. There are many benefits of committing to an idea, cause, career, relationship, religion, organization, friendship, values or goals. Committing to your goals will give you better results than jumping from one big idea to another. A wise man once told me that rolling stones gather no moss; unless you are willing to commit to your success, you will be like a rolling stone hurtling towards mediocrity.

The Fear of Commitment

I am committed to rise above mediocrity this year. This means that I have to fight my fear of commitment. I want to fight the fear of commitment, overcome it and harness its power. I encourage you to take a step of faith with me and tap onto this amazing power to get ahead in life too.

CommitmentA commitment is an act or quality of voluntarily taking on or fulfilling obligations. The obligation might be feeding your family, posting to your blog, loving your boyfriend or girlfriend, pursuing your dream, making repayments to your car loan etc.

Many people like “testing the waters” but not really committing to anything. I was afraid of starting this blog for a long time because of the fear of commitment and the fear of failure. You may have the fear of commitment stopping you from doing what you love. Your fear of commitment could you holding you down my friend.

I decided to start this blog and commit to posting at least 300 blog posts this year. That is almost a post everyday and it takes real commitment to stick with that. I have sabotaged myself in the past; financially, socially, spiritually and in relationships because of fearing to commit. You may have done the same in your life. I want to fight this demon this year, publicly and win convincingly. I hope to inspire you to do the same in your life.

According to Wikipedia, the fear of commitment normally refers to avoidance of long-term partnership and/or marriage but the problem is often much more pervasive, affecting school, work, and home life as well. The fear of commitment is also called commitmentphobia. Commitmentphobia is based on fear — fear of lost options or fear of making poor decisions. Many commitmentphobics become fantasy-driven, using their active imaginations to fill in for the lack of emotional security and closeness in their lives.

Commitmentphobic types are most likely to draw up fancy business plans but never start a business because they fear their commitment to it would wane over time. Commitmentphobics are also prone to self-destructive behavior, such as walking out on partners or jobs without notice, leaving themselves and the people in their lives in untenable situations. Commitmentphobia is a real disabling fear that can manifest in many areas of life, including career, home ownership, or even shoe shopping. This fear can turn simple every day decisions into a tremendous burden.

You need to cast away your burdens and travel light to success. We shall look at the fear of commitment in detail and devise a way for you and me to keep this monster at bay, before it bays for our blood.

Commitment Period

Commitment PeriodTo leverage the power of commitment, you need to understand that commitment is all about time. The commitment period means the period between the start and end dates of whatever you are committing to undertake. Marriage is a commitment between the wedding date and death of either spouse. A loan is a commitment to repay money borrowed within a specific period of time. Defaulting means not meeting that obligation and attracts a penalty.

You do not want to default on your commitments. That will cause pain, disappointment, and missed opportunities. Decide if you have it in you to commit to your goal for the required period. Do not undertake to a venture, cause, project without an exit strategy and specific timelines. If dealing with people let them understand how long your commitment stretches.

Serial Monogamy

Let us borrow from the animal kingdom on this one, with the help of Wikipedia. In animal sexuality, serial monogamy often means that an animal will have a different, but exclusive, breeding partner each mating season. Generally, any animals that do not mate with one partner for life can be considered serially monogamous, including those who find a second mate only upon the death of the first.

I find this concept fascinating. It is great to be exclusively  focused (monogamous) on one goal, finish it then move on to the next goal. When pursuing your current dream, avoid distractions. Do not cheat on your dream; be real faithful until it is accomplished. Once you accomplish your dream, feel free to get back on the “dating game” and find another dream, but while at it be fully committed to it.

Involuntary Commitment

You may be forced by the government, employer, or circumstances to undertake a particular commitment involuntarily. For example, if you are married and your partner is retrenched, you have to be committed to help them out financially and support them emotionally. Involuntary commitments are not fun; Find something in you to motivate you to do it otherwise you might end up very unhappy.

Commitment Preparation

If the commitment you are undertaking is voluntary, you must prepare for it. I prepared for the commitment to blog almost daily by learning all I could about blogging and listening to tapes, reading books, journals and other blogs in the area of personal development.

Do not set out to the high seas without a plan. Plan in detail how you are going to achieve your goals and map how you are going to get to your destination.

Cost of Commitment

Most people fear commitment because they think it reduces their options in life. But the real cost of the fear of commitment is inaction. If you have a need for intimacy and a long term relationship and run away from someone because of fear, you will experience the loss of intimacy and cause pain to the other person. If you are afraid to buy a house because you think they are so expensive and you don’t want to commit to a mortgage, you will end up paying more in future because of your delay. It is the same with opportunities and career moves.

Fearing to commit is actually more costly than committing. When you commit early, especially on such things as an automated savings plans, you will experience the power of compounding working on your favor. Remember to take action when time is on your side.

Mandela Commitment

A few years ago my neighbor gave me an old VHS called “The Anvil and the Hammer” to watch.( A VHS is an old DVD my dear young readers hehe) I did not have a VHS player so I checked with a few friends but no one had one. I ended up buying one from the pawn shop because this neighbor (A former South African, was always bugging me to find out if I had watched it and what I thought of it).nelson-mandela

Watching that VHS had me in tears. I was so moved by the atrocities committed against black people in South Africa by the Apartheid government policies. Nelson Mandela went to prison because of fighting that grossly unjust system.

When in prison, the government tried to break Mandela’s commitment to the struggle by offering him freedom. Mandela flatly refused. Here was a man who had spent decades in prison but refused to balk unless the playing field was evened.

When you commit to something, you need to know your boundaries. Do not settle for less than you are worth. Go for goals with unwavering tenacity and steadfastness. Do not compromise or break your commitment.

Nelson Mandela is my hero for his unwavering commitment to justice and freedom in South Africa. His refusal letter for the conditional freedom offer was read on his behalf by his daughter Zinzi to a mass meeting in Jabulani Stadium, Soweto, on 10 February, 1985. I watched the video on that VHS and it really moved me. I was able to trace it on YouTube for you.

Part of the letter read like this “I cherish my own freedom dearly, but I care even more for your freedom. Too many have died since I went to prison. Too many have suffered for the love of freedom. I owe it to their widows, to their orphans, to their mothers and to their fathers who have grieved and wept for them. Not only I have suffered during these long, lonely, wasted years. I am not less life-loving than you are. But I cannot sell my birthright, nor am I prepared to sell the birthright of the people to be free. I am in prison as the representative of the people and of your organisation, the African National Congress, which was banned.

What freedom am I being offered while the organisation of the people remains banned? What freedom am I being offered when I may be arrested on a pass offence? What freedom am I being offered to live my life as a family with my dear wife who remains in banishment in Brandfort? What freedom am I being offered when I must ask for permission to live in an urban area? What freedom am I being offered when I need a stamp in my pass to seek work? What freedom am I being offered when my very South African citizenship is not respected?

I cannot and will not give any undertaking at a time when I and you, the people, are not free. Your freedom and mine cannot be separated. I will return.” Wow!

I just can’t help it but love Mandela for such a commitment to the struggle in South Africa. Watch the video if you have the time. Below the video are a few practical areas you can apply the power of commitment.

Commitment in Action

  • Finance – The financial system is designed to work for those that are willing to learn the basics of financial instruments and commit to them for the appropriate periods of time. Try and keep your financial commitments like personal debt or credit card debt as they attract a high penalty rate when defaulted.
  • Careers – Do your homework and choose a career that is a good match for your personality, abilities and likes. Do what you like and commit to acquiring specialized knowledge and skills. Be committed to finding the appropriate work and apply yourself to be the best in your field. The cost of mediocrity in careers is high especially when looked at over a long period of time. The longer you commit to a particular profession or job, the more the benefits you will get, e.g. efficiency, productivity boost etc. On the other hand, the world is changing and you have to understand that the commitment period of most jobs is much lower than decades ago. Keep improving your skills to maintain relevance in the market place. Commit to continuous improvement and managing change.
  • Relationships – Committing to a relationship with someone helps you get to know them better. It gives you ample opportunities to be together and learn each other’s good side and bad sides as well. Most relationships start out with a lot of passion, but the passion dies off after a while. If you are committed to your relationship, you should always look for ways of understanding each other, and most importantly communicating with each other. Many people who are afraid of commitment in relationships end up losing out or hurting others. But the most important thing in relationships in my opinion is managing expectations. If you want to be casual friends, that is fine as long as you let the other person know.
  • Cause – Find out what causes move you. Would you like to help a hungry kid? Would you like to commit to saving the environment? Whatever you choose, make sure it is compatible with your core beliefs and commit to it for the appropriate period of time. Kenyan Professor Wangari Maathai committed herself to planting trees and saving the environment. She won the Nobel Peace Prize for her work. You may not win or even be recognized but choose carefully what you commit to and stick with it.
  • Health – Your health is not going away. Commit to your health by eating right, exercising and avoiding vices like cigarettes, drugs and alcohol. Your actions today will have life long repercussions so commit to a healthier lifestyle. Consider taking on the appropriate health cover for you and your family.
  • Values & Ideals – You must understand what your values are and commit to them. If you fancy yourself as an honest public servant, do not take bribes. If your core value is integrity, then commit to that no matter the circumstances.
  • Goals – Whatever your goal is in life, you must be really dedicated to it and commit to it for the required period. Do not let up, do not give up. Believe in yourself, prepare adequately and commit until you succeed.
  • Mission in Life – Lastly but not least, actually, lastly and most important: Commit to living up to your mission in life. Do not settle for less. You are on earth for a reason. Find your mission in life and live it. Set your goals and spend your time (finite resource) in accordance to your mission in life.

Final Thought….

Commit to visiting this blog often, for your daily dose of inspiration. I love it when you visit. Please invite your friends if you think they would benefit. You can share the blog posts with your friends on Facebook. That would be very nice of you cheers. Thanks a million!


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