10 Powerful Strategies for Dealing with Heartache

In 2001 at the age of 21, my planet stood still. I was engulfed in a tide of darkness for a while there. My heart was paralyzed. I was in severe emotional pain and the pain was real. I would not wish that pain on anyone; the pain of a heartbreak. No matter how hard I tried to forget her, my efforts seemed futile.

I had 2 weeks to go before my final uni exams. At a time when I needed to be absolutely focused, I lost my concentration. I lost my drive, I lost my appetite. Hey, I realize that men are not supposed to talk about this kind of stuff. But between you and me, let us say that the pain of a breakup does not easily walk away. It can be an impediment for success so we shall talk about it frankly. The purpose of this blog is to inspire you to be the best you can be. That includes being free from the pain of heartache and being well equipped to handle such pain.

The pain of heartbreak is often said to be indescribable. It can lead to anxiety attacks, loss of appetite, partial or complete insomnia, anger or shock. Heart break leads to nostalgia and feelings of loneliness. It plays mind games with one’s self-esteem and could lead to depression. In some cases, heartbreak causes nausea, fatigue, feelings of emptiness and even death.

I came up with a list of 10 strategies to cope with that pain. I would love to hear your comments and extra suggestions of how to get through the pain.

1)      Forgiveness – No matter what the reason for the break up, you need to let go of anger. You need to forgive yourself and forgive the person whom you broke up with.

2)      Counseling – If you can afford it, or if the situation calls for it, seek professional help or find someone whom you can trust and who can help you ease the pain. Two heads are better than one.

3)      Acceptance - Avoid being in denial. If it is over, it is over. Thinking that things will go back to normal when they are clearly not going to, only exacerbates the pain.

4)      People – Surround yourself with positive people. Try and see the good in people, do not spend too much time alone.

5)      Healing – Allow yourself time for grieving. Then focus on healing the pain. Do what works for you to mend your heart.

6)      Honesty – Be honest with yourself about the pain. What caused the pain? What caused the breakup? You can write down your thoughts, and perhaps create a journal of what you did, what your partner did, what went wrong etc.

7)      Immersion - Immerse yourself fully in a new subject matter. Perhaps join a club, a church or start playing a sport. Get active. Find something to distract you.

8)      Learn – Get busy. Learn something new, learn a language, visit a new place, learn about yourself, fiil your mind with new stuff.

9)      Time - The best medicine for heartbreak is time, time and time. Time heals all heartbreaks. Allow yourself time to moan and time to heal. As the wise teacher said, there is a time for everything. A time to meet someone and a time to break up. There is a time to moan and a time to get over it. Do not rush time or try to turn the clock of time.

10)  Music and Literature – There are so many songs about heartbreaks, love and commitment. Choose your media carefully and enjoy it fully. Get a collection of inspiring songs, movies, poems, books or blogs to give you solace.

Summary

The pain of a break up is real. It can impact negatively on personal and/or professional development. It is good to learn coping strategies.

If you have suggestions of how to cope with heartbreak, please share with us. If you have songs to help ease the pain, poems or blogs please feel free to share.

Go forth and find love my friends!

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