How to Win with Humility Lose with Honor

Posted at April 29, 2009

Sports Series

In sports, sometimes you win sometimes you lose. It is the name of the game. Winning feels better. Winning triggers positive emotions such as happiness and excitement. Losing on the other hand causes disappointment, anxiety and even depression. How you conduct yourself after winning or losing determines your long term level of success. This is especially true in life, more than in sports.

 When was the last time you saw your team winning? Do you remember the feeling? Do you remember the feeling when your team lost? Inevitably, there will always be winning days and losing days in life. Bill Gates says that success is a bad teacher. People relax when they succeed and ponder when they lose.

 It is easy to become obnoxious and full of pride when on a winning streak. Losing is not too good either. Losing can extinguish the fighting spirit and cause long term damage to self confidence. I hope to inspire you today to be more balanced in your ups and downs.

 Winning with Humility

 Humility is lack of false pride. Many top athletes try and maintain a modest demeanor when they win. I have observed many media savvy winners thanking the opposition for a game well played. They downplay their achievement and for good reason. Not many people are attracted to people who think too highly of themselves. Smart winners let the results speak for them as they become magnanimous.

 The Deadly Sin of Pride

 Pride comes before a fall. A bloated ego as a result of winning can obstruct common sense. Pride causes lack of respect for others and ultimately lack of respect for oneself. Some people feel invincible and indispensable after winning. Such pride can prevent good work relations with team members and other stakeholders. Losers are more likely to listen than proud winners. It is imperative that you contain your pride especially after winning or reaching your targets.

 Winning and Losing in Business

 There was once a company that started business on the premise of delivering quality service to their customers. Word got out that this company was offering exceptional value at a fair price. People started flocking to the company to buy their merchandise. The competition was left so far behind as the company skyrocketed in sales and success.

 Then something happened. The business owner forgot about what was driving her success. She became obnoxious and lazy. She started traveling around the world and not keeping a close eye on her business. Her managers got increasingly frustrated.

Her ego was bigger than the company. She talked for hours on end about the excellent reviews she was getting from business magazines. She forgot the basics and even became rude to customers.

 Then word started getting out and one by one the customers started leaving. Last I heard of her, the bank was also leaving her. They wanted to kick her out actually. She let pride come in the way of success. Do you know anyone who lets pride come in the way of their success?

 Then there was this other business woman. She was running a successful fashion business. All her friends knew what she did and she was immensely proud of her achievements. She was a member of several business and community organizations.

 A big department store selling a similar line of products moved to her street. Customers were now spending more time and money at the department store. Because of her pride, she refused to move. She wanted to keep the impression that she was still in business and would succeed despite what everyone else said. She ignored her numbers and the day of reckoning came when the auctioneers moved in. Pride surely comes before a fall.

 Winning and Losing in Careers

 Your career may be going really well. You may have got that coveted promotion. Your long years of service and hard work may finally be paying off. If that is the case, please remember a little word called humility. It goes a long way.

 Some people get a big head when they advance in careers. They start ignoring people in lower ranks perhaps calling them minions. They start ignoring invisible people.

 On the other hand, when people lose jobs, they feel so useless and worthless. In tough economic times, more people are likely to lose their jobs. But even in tough times, losing a job is not the end of the world. When one door shuts, another one opens. Losing a job should not drive you into hiding. Instead, re-invent yourself, sharpen your focus and bounce back. It may take time but do not rest on your laurels when you could be busy getting on with the next phase of your life.

 Winning and Losing in Relationships

 Sometimes the stars may align and you meet the man or woman of your dreams. If that happen, count your blessings and thank your God. Do not shove it down everyone’s throat. Understandably, it is hard to contain the excitement, but if you keep telling people who may not be in marital bliss how happy you are, you may attract resentment. Be judicious when sharing the good news.

 If you lose a loved one, regardless of the circumstances, do not mope and moan for the rest of your life. Pick up the pieces and move on. It may not be easy to eliminate the heartache but every step along the way counts. Do not cry to, crawl back or stalk your ex. Move on with your honor intact.

 Winning and Losing in Finances

 If you make a bunch of money, be modest. Flashing your new found wealth may attract jealousy and resentment. Spare your friends the agony of being reminded how well you are doing and they are not.

 On the other hand if you lose your money do not jump off the cliff or a tall building. Live to fight another day. Build your fortune back up again. It may take time but you did it the first time, you can do it again.

 Tall Poppy Syndrome

 This is the social phenomenal of bringing others down as a way of leveling society. It is when the short dogs make the tall German shepherd feel bad for being tall.  I first heard of this phrase in Australia. Many Australians will be quick to point out that the tall poppy syndrome is not unique to Australia. I agree, it happens everywhere in the world including Kenya where I come from.

 The tall poppy syndrome means that people who win and are boastful about it are cut down to size. Unfortunately, this syndrome is not restricted to people who are boastful or proud. Even humble achievers are criticized and resented. However, you can reduce your probability of falling victim by being modest.

 Crab Mentality

 If you put crabs in a bucket, they tend to pull each other back, every time one wants to get out.  It is like that in life. Some people have a myopic view of life. They are short sighted. Instead of helping each other get out of a rut or bad situation, they pull each other down when one wants to get out. You should be careful about the kind of people you let in your life. Some friends can pull you down in the pretext of helping you.

 Summary

 Give your best shot in life. Do your best. Plan to win and play to win. When you win, be humble in your victory. Remember that sometimes you will win and other times you will lose. Life is like that.

 If you lose, do so with dignity. Losing is not the end of life. You may lose in business, career, relationships, health or financially, but as long as you are alive you can live to fight another day.

 Be aware of the tall poppy syndrome, some people may have the crab mentality but do not let that put you down. You can minimize the effects of the tall poppy syndrome by winning with humility and losing with honor.

 would love to hear your opinion about this topic. Do you have examples of winning with pride or losing with honor? Has the tall poppy syndrome or crab mentality ever showed up in your life or in the life of someone you know?

Series Navigation«Competition and Obstacles Only Make You StrongerHow to Avoid Distractions and Greener Grass»

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