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For four years in high school, we sang about riding in pride in our school anthem. Moments after the school anthem we would go to the school chapel where the chaplain would preach about humility. It was instilled in us that we were a great school and we should be proud boys; but were constantly reminded that humility is a virtue, the opposite of pride. It was hard reconciling the idea of riding in pride whilst being humble. More than a decade later, I still have not got the answer.
Our School Anthem
Thoughts and deeds shall bide with task.
Keep the Rose brightly ye our emblem.
Sieve the trash dear Lord we ask.
For Nihil Praeter Optimum.
In pride we ride.
With rules abide.
As all the boys and staff combine.
All members here in Lenana.
We aim at Nothing But The Best.
I do not have the answer to the question of pride vs. humility. I am torn right through the middle by different schools of thought and would love to hear your thoughts on this. I think conflict on issues like this affect our level success.
What is Pride?
Pride is a feeling of self-respect and personal worth. It also means satisfaction with your (or another’s) achievements. Pride can be both a positive and negative emotion.
Pride can be viewed as either a virtue or vice. When viewed as a virtue, pride in one’s appearance and abilities is known as virtuous pride, greatness of soul or magnanimity. When viewed as a vice it is often termed vanity or vainglory.
Negative pride is the opposite of humility. Unfortunately for most people, especially the church, there is no distinction between positive and negative pride. Pride is regarded as one of the seven deadly sins. In fact, it is regarded as the ultimate source from which the other sins arise.
It is identified as a desire to be more important or attractive than others, failing to acknowledge the good work of others, and excessive love of self. The bible’s story of Lucifer pin points pride (his desire to compete with God) as the cause of his fall from Heaven, and his resultant transformation into Satan.
Depending on who you talk to, they will tell you pride is synonymous to any of the following words: Ego, Joy, Delight, Pleasure, Big-Headedness, Best, Elite, Prime, Cream, Brag, Boast, Cockiness, Self-Love, Self-Worth, Self-Respect, Self-Exaltation, Self-Admiration, Self-Confidence, Self-Glorification, Self-Importance, Self-Sufficiency, Dignity, Vanity, Satisfaction, Scornfulness or Pretension. Some of those words are good while others are bad.
Clearly, the word pride is a problem for a lot of people. Some will say that pride comes before a fall; while others believe that the pride of accomplishments is what drives people to success. The purpose of this blog is to inspire you to be the best you can be, to encourage you to succeed, and to be proud of your accomplishments.
Even the bible is not really clear about the issue of pride. 2 Corinthians 5:12 says:
We are not trying to commend ourselves to you again, but are giving you an opportunity to take pride in us, so that you can answer those who take pride in what is seen rather than in what is in the heart.
Apostle Paul’s writing in the above verse shows that one can be proud and be within the will of God.
- Proverbs 8:13 (NIV). To fear the Lord is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech.
- Proverbs 16:18-19 (NIV). Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Better to be lowly in spirit and among the oppressed than to share plunder with the proud.
What is Humility?
Humility, or being humble, is the characteristic of an unpretentious and modest person, someone who does not think that he or she is better or more important than others. It is a disposition to be humble; a lack of false pride.
Humility is one of the seven heavenly virtues that are designed to protect people from the temptations of the seven deadly sins. It is regarded as modest behavior, selflessness, and the giving of respect. It is characterized by giving credit where credit is due; not unfairly glorifying one’s own self.
Pride in Relationships
I believe that for one to have a good relationship you must be proud of your partner. You cannot have a healthy relationship with someone if you look down upon them. Pride is a natural selection tool to help in appropriate pairing. If your partner is not proud of you, it may be a sign of trouble.
A parent should be proud of his family and spend time with them in order to have a deep and meaningful relationship. It is hard for love to thrive without mutual pride, and desire to be with each other.
Pride in Careers
Pride is the belief that you have everything in your career under control because of your uniqueness, skills, authority, and competence. One cleaner will say “I am only a cleaner” while another one will say with pride “I am the cleaner”. The way you look at your job and your importance should not be dictated by others. You should be proud of your position and if you find yourself not being proud, use that as a sign to up your game and move ahead.
Pride in Finances
Many people spend in pride and end up in financial ruin. Instead, invest in pride. Be choosy about your investments. Get the investments that you deserve. Do not have a haughty spirit and spend your money to show off to others. Instead focus on long term financial strategies that you will be proud of for years to come.
Summary
Depending on your religious affiliation, you may see pride as a bad thing. I grew up with pride being demonized, but I am proud person. I like to think of myself as proud in a positive way, proud of who I am, and my contribution to the world.
Many religious and successful people and those that aspire to succeed probably experience conflict in this issue. However as soon as one starts being proud of their achievements, the internal bible tells them to stop. It becomes harder to stop after tasting the sweet joy of success.
I would love to hear your views on pride and humility. Maybe I am missing something.
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..well spoken… i sometimes face such a predicament…more so after doing something (skul, or career) so welll… of after accomplishing a very challenging task…its a thin line. I attended one of those prolific high schools where we were CONSTANTLY reminded to remain humble despite our ability and amazing perfomance.. i have personally found that it needs to be controlled. prefferebly… feel good on the inside…nothing wrong with that…but dont show off.u’ll always know when you are showing off. good one
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Daniel Ngari Reply:
April 4th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
@ Gitau – Good to hear am not the only one with this predicament. It is a thin line I suppose. Shun showing off no matter how good you feel on the inside.
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Hello Dan..methinks that you can be proud and humble at the same..like you emphasized you are proud of your school, proud to be a man of note, proud of your parents etc..the aspect of being humble is not being brash about these things that may you proud..the combination is a winner!..people hate proud people (they call it arrogance) but love it when they meet a supposedly proud person and find him very approachable and down to earth..the ability to have pride and be humble at the same time is the virtue reserved for the greats amongst us..
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Daniel Ngari Reply:
April 4th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
@ Prince – Thank you for your perspective on this issue. Arrogance is such an off-put. I think the idea of deserving praise and acknowledgment and not standing on rooftops praising yourself is good. Let the others do it for you as you stay humble. Nelson Mandela comes to mind.
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Im proud of you Daniel! positively… You do inspire a lot of us to aim for nothing but the best!
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Daniel Ngari Reply:
April 4th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
@ Rachel – Thank you for your encouragement. Proud of you too!. Hope all is well in Melbourne.
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The higher you climb the negative pride ladder the heavier you will fall.
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Daniel Ngari Reply:
April 4th, 2009 at 4:40 pm
@ Philip – Thank you for reminding us the pitfalls of negative pride.
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now i feel like i should have gone to Lenana sch….lol. I love the anthem, very vision driven, and a deep sense of pride.
I am proud of you, keep playing with words like you do, the build our lives. Have a lovely day!
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Daniel Ngari Reply:
April 4th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
@ Joy – You do not surely want to have gone to a boy’s boarding school do-ya? Yeah it was a great anthem, that shaped the pysche of the students there. Am enjoying playing with the words and thank you so so much for your support. Its invaluable.
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Dan,
U brought back sweet old memories ,the song we all shed tears when we sang it after the final exam paper,
Win with humility and lose with honour am i right,but i may not be able to analyse it amicably but believe me it was our way of feeling superior ,n i think there is a connection between pride and success ,pride coming coz of what u r doing u like it and has a connection to it but again it beats logic when we come to humilty somehow they dont lime
Men unajua kuchambua maneno
Am proud of u
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Daniel Ngari Reply:
April 4th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
@ Karuga – Yeah those were the days. That song brings back fond memories, especially after rugby matches. And thanks for reminding me checkman’s favorite quote “win with humility and lose with honor”. I also remember him saying “humility is not cowardice”.
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Daniel,
Let me put you out of your misery.
As a linguist, you have to accept that English is still an evolving language and therefore lacks to specify between the different forms of a word.
For example- the greek had numerous words for different versions of an emotion like love.
So back to pride, you have to be proud of the positive and rid yourself of the negative.
Or better yet, start inventing words.
Word.
P
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Daniel Ngari Reply:
April 4th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
@ Peter – Not so sure you have put me out of the misery yet. I like your suggestion about inventing words. It might be the surefire way of expressing ourselves in full, perhaps. Thanks for your comment mate.
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If i had a son and he one day did something worthwhile with his life, I would be a proud parent.I would take pride in my son.There is nothing wrong with that kind of pride. A lion is considered proud because it does not eat what it has not killed unlike the hyenas.
But the other side of Pride which is considered one of the deadly sins.Is when one elevated themselves and because they are blinded by it, they do not respect others or view others as people.The root of this kind of pride is shame.One tends to walk on a cloud viewing down on others. The sister and brother to this kind of pride is judgement and condemnation.You never see your flaws but everyone else.It darkness the heart and one stops being human as its makes you immune to feelings.
When people posses this kind of pride, miss out on alot in life because of the mindset they have and they are static in that way of thinking.But since we all are humans we are prone to it. In Tibet a man who is honoured and respected is the man who abandons his ego and pride.
I will paste my fav poem
He who knows others is wise.
He who knows himself is enlightened.
He who conquers others is strong.
He who conquers himself is powerful.
He who knows joy is rich.
He who keeps to his path has will.
Be humble and you will remain whole.
Bow down and you will remain erect.
Empty yourself and you will remain full.
Wear yourself out and you will remain new.
The wise man does not show himself, and that is why he shines.
He does not attract attention to himself, and that is why he is noticed.
He does not praise himself, and that is why he has merit.
And because he is not competing, no one in the world can compete with him.
Well for me that is the fuel that runs behind my engine of my day-to-day life:)
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Daniel Ngari Reply:
April 4th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
@ Brenda – Great poem. Yeah and I like the Lion pride analogy. Will be writing on ego and will remember this comment. Thanks once again Brenda for your insightful comments.
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Dan u can count on me for comments.. am trying to think about this pirde thing here… I know I am proud of some of the things i do in life.. I take pride in the cross too.. they say that if people dont blow for you your trumpet then do it for yourself…lol i guess the point here is to feel appreciated.. i was not a student in Lenana like you but i am glad for the high school i went to. The deputy taught us to be women of intergrity.. never to wait for someone to acknowledge us. If i waited for people to tell me how good i am i guess i could be waiting. Its wehn i appreciate my work that you hearsomeone tell you how proud they are bcz of u….
I am proud of you Dan for this blog…lol
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Daniel Ngari Reply:
April 4th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
@ Paula – Positive pride and self confidence is a good thing. Not so sure about blowing your own trumpet though. Appreciation is one of man (and woman’s) greatest desires. Thank you for your support on this blog. I appreciate it.
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