The Agony of an Own Goal in Sports and Life

Posted at April 22, 2009

Sports Series

A gun man approached Andrés Escobar outside a bar in a Colombian suburb and shot him. The gun man shouted “Gooooooooooooool!”, then shot him again, and then shouted again. He shot him 12 times in what was seen as punishment for scoring an own goal in the 1994 FIFA World Cup causing Colombia to be eliminated in the first round. That criminal act sent chills to players who feared accidentally scoring an own goal, especially in crucial matches. No player wants to score an own goal. It negates all the good done on the pitch. It makes fans and team mates go mad. Scoring an own goal for football players is a cause of shame and is not easily forgotten.

Today we kick off the sports series. We look at what we must really avoid; scoring an own goal.

An own goal occurs in football and other goal-scoring games when a player scores a goal that is registered against his or her own team. It is usually accidental, and may be a result of an attempt at defensive play that failed or was spoiled by opponents. Own goals occur in our lives either by accident, error on our part or outside influence. Own goals can cost us success and so we shall look at ways of minimizing the potential of own goals. We shall also look at what to do in the event that we score an own goal.

Imagine watching your favorite football team play at the highest level. You have been following the team and they are undefeated. You are pretty sure that they shall win the cup. Then during extra time, one of your team’s players kicks or is kicked by the ball and the referee calls it a goal. How would you feel? Imagine the pain, feel the pain… that is the pain you should be feeling every time you sabotage your own success. We sabotage our success in a million ways but 99.9% of the time we are oblivious to it. We do not feel the pain until it is too late. We need to see the signs; we need to know the triggers of self sabotage.

Let us look at some ways we can score own goals; sabotaging our success. We shall also look at pitfalls to avoid.

  1. Physical Health and Wellness
  2. Work and Careers
  3. Financial Freedom
  4. Home and Family
  5. Social and Relationships
  6. Mind and Character
  7. Spiritual Life

1 – Physical Health and Wellness

Many people score an own goal in the area of physical health. It is said that you are what you eat. If you eat fatty food, you will get fat. If you do not eat a balanced diet, you may be sabotaging your long term health and ability for your body to fight diseases.

Sitting down all day (even when working on your computer) counts as an own goal. You need to exercise your body daily. Find some physical activities to do and make it part of your daily habits.

Own goals happen accidentally, and so do accidents. If you do not have health insurance you may be limiting your ability to afford quality health care. You can avoid financial devastation for you and your loved one by taking on insurance.

Smoking may look cool in the movies but if you do not pay attention to the ministry of health warnings on cigarettes, you may be doing more than scoring an own goal. You may be burning your lungs and inducing cancer. Drugs and alcohol also limit your health and should be avoided.

2 – Work and Careers

Ever heard of the saying “find what you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life?” If you are working in a job you hate just to pay the bills, you may be limiting your creativity and output. That is self sabotage. You cannot thrive unless you do what you love and what you are enthusiastic about.

Another way that people sabotage themselves professionally is by taking cover on the mental illusion called job security. Thinking that you have a secure job and sitting pretty on your comfort zone is a time bomb.

Talking of comfort zones, if you are not actively building your professional network, you may be limiting yourself. Think up of a good contacts building strategy that suits you and work it.

There are many other ways of scoring an own goal in your professional life. For example, bad time management skills, low productivity at work, lack of specialization, procrastination, lack of focus , and falling for distractions e.g. Facebook at work.  If you have any of those items in your professional world, consider yourself warned before someone shouts “Gooooooooooooool!”

3 – Financial Freedom

If you aspire to be financially free, you do not want to have an own goal in the financial arena, do ya? Make sure you gain financial literacy or/and get sound financial advice from professionals.

One of the ways many people meet their financial waterloo is by trying to keep up with the Joneses. Have your own financial plan that is independent of what your friends think or are doing. Focus more on saving and investing as opposed to free spending. Build assets instead of liabilities. Increase your income and lower your expenses. Find financial common sense that happens to be not so common with many.

Do not sabotage your financial future by thinking, investing or planning for the short term and forgetting the long term. Financial intelligence says that those who invest for the long term get the power of compounding working for their favor. Start investing early, do not fall for the fallacy that you will invest more, later when you have better income.

Always remember that money is the medium of exchange of value. The more value you deliver, the more money you make. Focus on delivering value efficiently and deliver it to many people. That is why movie stars and elite athletes get paid a lot. They provide astounding entertainment to millions of people. The more people you can provide value to, the more you will get paid.

I will not name names but I have met people who have sabotaged themselves financially because of what their parents said about money. If you grew up believing that money is the root of all evil and that all rich people are devil worshiping evil incarnates, then you need to flush those thoughts away. You need to fill your mind with a positive attitude to money. Money, just like humans, likes to live where it is appreciated. Clean up your mind to receive financial freedom and money will come. If you try attracting money before, it will elude you without even telling you why.

The worst own goal you can have in the area of money and finances is getting too much of it before you are ready. They say that a fool and his money are soon parted. Do not be the fool who wins lotto and is homeless five years later. Get a good financial education and prepare yourself mentally for success.

4 – Home and Family

A family that prays together stays together. A family that spends time together will have more opportunities for bonding and growing than one that spends time apart. Do not sabotage a good family life by avoiding your family members. Remember that we need balance in life. No matter who your relatives or family members are, create time for them. Improve your listening skills, be more empathetic and improve communication with your family members.

At the end of life, you do not want to look back and count how many opportunities you missed for bonding with your family. Instead, create opportunities for bonding with your family members and bring your digital camera with you. Take photos of weddings, funerals, parties or even just random moments with your family members. Those photos can be your treasured memories of your loved one when they are no longer around.

Creating a family financial blueprint can help a family move ahead in life. If you have kids create a saving plan for their education and consider taking more insurance, and setting money aside for rainy days.

One other type of own goals you can score in the family front is family disputes. You can avoid family disputes by managing expectations. Do not make promises you cannot keep. Set your boundaries and let your family members know where you stand on issues. Be loving but firm.

5 – Social and Relationships

It may look like fun stretching your neck to reach out for the greener end on the other side but betrayal in a relationship is one of the worst own goals you can score. If someone entrusts you with their heart and trust, do not abuse it.

Have you ever realized that the people around you have quite an impact on you over the long term? Choose carefully who you associate with. Choosing the wrong company of friends can bring an avalanche of negativity to your life that can have cascading effects in all spheres of your life.

Sweeping things under the carpet and not addressing them when they arise is setting yourselves up for future failure. Believe me you do not want to do that. Make sure you address issues. Do not go to bed angry with each other. Stay up and fight J

There is always the temptation of comparing your loved one to others. Do not do it. There will always be someone “better” than you wife or husband out there. Comparing your relationship with that of others just fuels lack of satisfaction and diminishes the quality of your life. Focus on improving your own relationship instead of obsessing over your friends’ relationships.

6 – Mind and Character

Use it or lose it. The more you use your brain the sharper it becomes. Challenge yourself constantly. Allowing yourself to sit on a comfort zone is a recipe for an own goal. Focus on growing your mind and character. Associate with people who will help you grow, read books or watch DVDs that will help you grow. Spend your time on the internet on websites and blogs that inspire you to be the best you can be J

Integrity is the undivided or unbroken completeness or totality with nothing wanting. Aspire to be a man or woman of integrity. Develop your character to have honor and integrity even when nobody is looking. Karma is a bitch, what you give to others comes back to you.

Another area of the mind and character that you should safe gourd and avoid an own goal is reputation. Take your reputation seriously. It takes years to build and moments to rip to shreds. Avoid compromising situations that might cost your good name.

And finally on the area of mind, work on your level of confidence. The higher your confidence, the higher you will soar in life. Eliminate the own goal called self doubt. Believe in yourself. Use positive affirmations daily to tell yourself that “yes you can!” You only achieve as much as you believe you can. Never more.

7 – Spiritual Life

We have not talked much about the issue of religion and spirituality on this blog. Allow me to add my two cents on this topic.

Religion can be an own goal for your success. If you let religion restrict your free thought and social interactions, it may cost your success here on earth. Perhaps that is not important for you. But if it is, be sure to use religion judiciously.

On your spiritual journey, you may find that certain friends or circumstances limit you. Think about it and make a choice that you can live with. Old habits die hard, you may want to kill off some habits to achieve success in the spiritual arena.

One last point on religion; some religions introduce divergent views on success that may make you not live congruently. Religion and success are very individual things. Find what is acceptable for you and stick with it. Find answers to questions such as Is money evil? Is prosperity gospel fine by me? Find those answers before you set out looking for a financial fortune. Avoid all elements of personal incongruence caused by religious teachings. Chart a path between your religion and your other areas of life. Do not be driven by fear but by a sound mind.

Summary

This has been a long article warning us about scoring an own goal in various areas of our lives. Own goals have signals and I hope this article has helped you spot the signs of own goals and has given you ideas on how to tackle the challenges.

Scoring an own goal is not the end of life. We all make mistakes. If you are reading this article it means you are of sound mind and you can have another chance to keep playing in the game of life and success.

I sincerely wish you well in your life. This blog’s purpose is to inspire you to be the best you can be. This series in particular will use sports analogies to inspire you. If you know someone, a friend, colleague or family members that would be inspired by this blog, please consider sharing it with them.

I would love to hear your comments about issues discussed in this article or anything I may have left out. Cheers my friend!

Series Navigation«Introducing the Sports Series10 Forgotten Teamwork Secrets to Success»

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