7 Quick and Dirty Ways to Become a Charmer

Posted at May 31, 2009

Personal Branding Series

Charming your way to people’s minds and hearts will bring love, joy and prosperity to your life. It is the simple things you do that enhance your personal brand. Charmers are attractive; they make people feel good and bring out the best in others.

Not all charmers are magicians, but they all cast a magic spell on others. They induce others to act. They persuade others to do what they want them to do. Welcome to my little, quick and dirty guide to becoming a charmer.

Genuine Interest

Each of us is different; with unique quirks, experiences and world views. To become a charmer, you need to accept and embrace the fact that people are different. Be genuinely interested in what makes a person unique instead of relying on stereotypes. Develop empathy – be willing and able to put yourself in the shoes of others.

Ask questions that can give you answers to what makes the person unique. Asking questions in a friendly, warm tone can open up conversations and give you insight into what makes a person tick. Remember the answers to the questions you ask. Do your best to remember peoples’ names, birthday, careers, preferences and other facts.

Pet Topics

Pet topics are topics that you can immerse yourself in and talk about for hours. What is your pet topic? What do you love to talk about? What are you at ease talking about?

Develop a set of pet topics that can help you connect with others. Have topics that bring out the best in others. Appreciate other people’s pet topics and be willing to listen as they go on and on.

Examples of good pet topics include music, movies, sports, fashion, jokes etc. Be careful about making politics and religion your pet topics. Those two topics are more likely to cause divisions than find common ground.

Positive Attitude

Look out for the best in people. Look at the glass as half full instead of half empty. Make people feel good about themselves. Focus on positive stories, issues and moments. Show appreciation and gratitude when good things happen.

Magic Words

Use words to charm your way into peoples’ hearts, and minds. Develop charming vocabulary. Make words like “thank you”, “sorry”, “please” easy to roll off your tongue. Be creative in finding charming words that make people feel at ease.

Practice

Like all good things, charm takes practice. Practice makes perfect. If you are not at your charming best at present, take heart. If you keep practicing, taking baby steps, you will eventually get there. Try charming one person at a time, try making one person feel good about themselves. Your charming ways may not always work, in your charm fails you, do not worry too much. Try again. The more you practice being charming, the better you become at it.

Repetition of the same thought or physical action develops into a habit which, repeated frequently enough, becomes an automatic reflex. Norman Vincent Peale

Generosity

Give unexpected gifts. People love generous souls. Brand yourself as generous. Complement people genuinely and generously. Feed peoples’ egos. Give your time and your attention to the person you want to charm. Be there at their hour of need.

How do you make people feel? After a long period of time people generally don’t remember what you said but rather how you made them feel. Give people the gift of love and respect. Give kind words and encouragement in tough times.

Be a cheerful giver. Give something of value to people you meet. Not necessarily money but what you have in your reserves. When you give you are making a deposit in your spiritual account and you will reap your rewards with the same measure you give out.

“Give and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over will be poured to your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measure to you” – Luke 6:38

Summary

Becoming a charming person is good way of getting more out of life. Charming people are more easily able to influence others and get people to like them. They are more likely to make friends.

Watch charming people. Learn from them. Do not reinvent the wheel. Read, watch, listen and observe what makes them so charming. Then start improving, one aspect of your communication and personal brand at a time.

Series Navigation«What is Personal Branding from Within?How to Get Results Using Your Personal Brand»

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