What to do when you Lose it all?

Posted at August 27, 2009

Get Ahead Series

Stockbrokers have been known to commit suicide when the going gets tough. When the markets nose-dive, some prefer to jump off skyscrapers rather than face the consequences. Do you attach too much meaning and personal involvement in your material possessions?

Imaginary Losses

It is very easy to fall into the trap of imagining that the worst will happen. If you keep your mind focused on what could go wrong, then you might just precipitate it. You can create your worst fears by constantly thinking about them. I am not saying that you sink your head in the sand and assume that nothing bad will happen; far from it. What am saying is that you should not overly live in fear of the worst. Fear of failure or loss paralyzes action.

We are talking about getting ahead in life in this series of articles. To be able to get ahead, minimize your imaginary loses. Many people die so many times in their own heads. They have so many divorces in their minds. They fail so many exams, have accidents, have their houses broken into… all in their minds. Imaginary loses can reduce your lifestyle and quality of life. In addition, they can steal the fighting spirit and the zeal to succeed. Be aware. You have been warned.

Cumulative Losses

Some people lose it all and they think that that was a bad day or a bad month. But the reality was that they were on a losing streak all along, they just did not realize it. Losing, just like winning, is not an event but a process. If for example you have a habit of drinking and driving, having a road accident might seem like it was “sudden” but it really wasn’t. Falling deeply in debt does not happen overnight. It is the cumulative effect of spending habits and financial discipline.

You can reverse your fortunes by having an early warning system in place. For example, if you continuously miss your targets in your business, it should serve as a warning is not late. If you are in a relationship and your communication is almost nil, then you should be aware of the impending disaster. Pay attention to the details. Losses, just like success, rarely happen overnight.

Spread Your Risk

Daniel Ngari is more than this blog. If this blog was no more, I would still survive and thrive. Many people place too much emphasis on one aspect of their lives. They put too many eggs in one basket. They put their sanity at risk by investing too heavily in one aspect of life. Spread your risk of total loss by finding solace in diverse areas of your life.

Have hobbies and people who you can fall back on if the worst comes to the worst. It may be a cell group at your church or people you play a sport with. Have a place you belong other than your work or business.

Keep a portion of your income for a rainy day. Do not be driven by instant gratification. Consuming today without regard for tomorrow can exacerbate the pain of losses. View money as a game. Play to both win and enjoy. Use your money wisely and remember to pass the ball (giving). You get back what you give out.

Disaster Recovery Plan

In the software development industry, having a disaster recovery plan is a smart way of minimizing loses. What would you do if your computer got a virus? What would you do if your USB thumb drive stopped working?

Hope for the best but prepare for the worst. The worst could happen without any warning. Having given thought to your action plan in such an event can mean the difference between a temporary setback and total ruin.

Starting all Over Again

The best thing you can do if you lose it all is to take time to reflect on where you went wrong. Don’t dwell too much on it, but don’t avoid this important stage. Make sure you do not make the same mistake twice.

After you have identified what went wrong, create a game plan. Have a plan on how you are going to bounce back to where you were and beyond. Take small but consistent steps towards the attainment of your goals.

If you ever have to start again after failure, do not give up. Be persistent. “Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan “press on” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race”. Calvin Coolidge (30th President of the United States of America, 1872-1933).

No matter what challenges you may be facing in your life today, take heart; persist. That which cannot kill you will only make you stronger. The size of the victory depends on the size of the opponents.

Regardless of how deep in hell you may be, if you look inside yourself, you will see that a hero lies in you. The strength of your character and your hunger to bounce back can help you overcome adversity. Many people give up on the first sign of trouble, but the art of bouncing back is what separates successes from failures.

In Summary

Losing all that you have worked for can be a painful experience. Unfortunately, many people let the fear of potentially losing it all paralyze their actions. Focus on the bright side of life. Know that even if you lost it all, you could still bounce back.

Every cloud has a silver lining, make sure you learn from your mistakes or understand the reasons for your loss, then quickly attempt to bounce back. Take well thought out action steps, persistently, to re-build and re-brand you.

If you like this article, please share it with a friend. I would love to hear your comments on the topic of bouncing back after losing it all.

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