Succeed by Building Others Up

Posted at March 23, 2010

People Series

Regardless of what success means to you, you can attain it faster by building others up instead of bringing them down. Success is sweeter when you help someone else up. It is all too easy to  criticize others to “show them how things are supposed to be”. But instead of criticizing others, why not try and see the good in them and play it up?

One of the main reasons for starting this blog is for me to learn ways of aligning my career and activities with the spirit of giving. I want to use my God given talents, life experiences, success and failures to inspire you to be the best that you can be. I have my reasons for doing this and I will share them with you shortly. But first I will share with you a short story from my growing up days in Kenya.

There was a lovely family that lived a few blocks from our house. We were relatively good friends and one day, my sister and I went there for a visit. We had a fabulous time, stayed there all afternoon and even had dinner there. When it came time to go we said our goodbyes and promised to keep in touch. Unfortunately as soon as we walked out, it started raining cats and dogs. We walked back to the house and stood outside the door where we could see everyone inside. It was dark outside and all bright inside. We did not realize it at the time, but our friends could not see us. We watched in disbelief as they tore into our family demonizing us left right and centre. I was shell shocked, how could these people, people we regarded as friends speak such malicious evil? Right after we had such a great time with them?

It is unfortunate that many people will laugh with you, dine with you and then talk nasty behind your back. You probably do that yourself from time to time. I have done it too. It is not a good thing and if we are to rise above mediocrity, we must shun that kind of behavior. It is tempting to bring people down when we are threatened by them. It is easy to want to bring people down if we think they are rising up too fast and leaving us behind.

In Australia, we call it the Tall Poppy Syndrome. Tall Poppy Syndrome is resentment of others’ success. It is something that we need to be aware of and shun as we seek success. If you are planning to be successful, you need to be aware that there are people who will try and bring you down. If you are trying to be successful, spare you energy and focus on what will make you successful instead of wasting time and energy resenting others.

Bringing people down through negative comments and thoughts only hinders your own success. It is a natural trait that we have as humans to want to bring others down, but you should deliberately change this natural urge to a more empowering mindset. The way to do this is by intentionally wanting, wishing and working for the success of others. When others succeed, instead of being jealous, you will be very happy and proud of yourself. It is even better if you can tie your own success to the success of others.

How can you succeed by building others up?

Someone pointed out that I gave an example that drug dealers also provide value to their customers. While it is true that drug dealers provide value in the short term, they ultimately destroy the lives of those same customers. You need to be able to decide how you are going to build others up through your efforts, and whether it is short term or long term. My approach is to focus on how to build others up in the long term.

One of the most successful men in the world today is Bill Gates. I have massive respect for him for his dream, vision, and work of bringing personal computers to the desktops of ordinary families. His company, Microsoft, has been instrumental in building millions of people up by creating software and helping make the PC affordable.

For you to build others up, you have to want it, visualize it and take action. If you are currently thinking of starting a career, you can choose a career that will have a lot of positive impact on others. For example, I was talking to a brilliant engineer friend who wants to use her engineering knowledge to build solar panels and other environmentally friendly solutions. Such an endeavor will help build not just the current generation up, but also future generations.

Succeeding by building others up is akin to planting good seeds. You reap what you sow. If you do a good job for others it will come back to you. For example, if you work hard for your employer and help him achieve his objectives, he may be able to stay in business longer and maybe even give you a pay rise. Whatever your job is, you can do more to improve the fortune of your employer. Do not just do just enough to save your job, go beyond your call of duty to deliver exceptional value.

Building other’s up means that you are self confident about your situation and prospects in life. It means you are grateful for what you have and have a generous spirit to share. This is very important for your success. The more grateful you are, the more success you will attract in your life.

Succeeding by building others up is the most sustainable way of succeeding. If I work really hard to write great articles that will change your life, you are most likely going to keep coming back for more and maybe invite your friends to this site. It is the same in business and other areas of life. If you build other people up, they will be happy with you and spread the word on your behalf saving you big bucks in advertising costs.

Can you succeed if you do not build others up?

Yes you can succeed by being selfish and by destroying other people. Drug dealers do succeed by destroying the long term lives of their customers but that kind of success is not sustainable. Sooner or later it catches up with them.

As Bob Marley used to sing “You can fool some people sometimes, and you can fool some people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time”. It is the same with success, you can succeed sometimes by bringing people down, but you cannot succeed all the time by bringing people down.

An Example of Success through Building Others Up

I love teachers, maybe it has something to do with my dad having been a teacher and the fact that my sister is a teacher. Last Sunday in church they played a video of a dinner discussion between a lawyer and a teacher. As much as I love lawyers too, I thought this video will be a good example of how someone can succeed by building others up. Teachers do an amazing job and we can all learn from them.

Video Transcript

By Taylor Mali
www.taylormali.com

He says the problem with teachers is, “What’s a kid going to learn
from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?”
He reminds the other dinner guests that it’s true what they say about
teachers:
Those who can, do; those who can’t, teach.

I decide to bite my tongue instead of his
and resist the temptation to remind the other dinner guests
that it’s also true what they say about lawyers.

Because we’re eating, after all, and this is polite company.

“I mean, you¹re a teacher, Taylor,” he says.
“Be honest. What do you make?”

And I wish he hadn’t done that
(asked me to be honest)
because, you see, I have a policy
about honesty and ass-kicking:
if you ask for it, I have to let you have it.

You want to know what I make?

I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.
I can make a C+ feel like a Congressional medal of honor
and an A- feel like a slap in the face.
How dare you waste my time with anything less than your very best.

I make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall
in absolute silence. No, you may not work in groups.
No, you may not ask a question.
Why won’t I let you get a drink of water?
Because you’re not thirsty, you’re bored, that’s why.

I make parents tremble in fear when I call home:
I hope I haven’t called at a bad time,
I just wanted to talk to you about something Billy said today.
Billy said, “Leave the kid alone. I still cry sometimes, don’t you?”
And it was the noblest act of courage I have ever seen.

I make parents see their children for who they are
and what they can be.

You want to know what I make?

I make kids wonder,
I make them question.
I make them criticize.
I make them apologize and mean it.
I make them write, write, write.
And then I make them read.
I make them spell definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful, definitely
beautiful
over and over and over again until they will never misspell
either one of those words again.
I make them show all their work in math.
And hide it on their final drafts in English.
I make them understand that if you got this (brains)
then you follow this (heart) and if someone ever tries to judge you
by what you make, you give them this (the finger).

Let me break it down for you, so you know what I say is true:
I make a goddamn difference! What about you?

Summary

No matter what you do in life, whether you are a teacher or a lawyer, a cleaner or a business man, you can succeed by building others up. Find what others need and give them exceptional value. Always ask yourself, “what can I do to build this person or people up?”.


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